(Fowl Line) It's official, NASCAR is over the hill. The Army pulls the plug on RyNew and ends it's sponsorship of NASCAR racing because:
“It’s been skewing older..."
The Army will continue sponsoring the NHRA because that is apparently still hip.
The news came as a shock to Bill LaGermany spokesperson for NASCAR, "We've explained over and over again to the Army our kids look older because they start smoking at an earlier age..."
NASCAR fans damn near spilled their bowls of FUNYUNS® Onion Flavored Rings and spit store label beer at the notion they were no longer relevant to the armed forces many had served with distinction. "We still got all them other sponsors who think we're relevant like Denture Grip, Depends, Enzyte and Metamucil" huffed Bev Moundheaver while waiting to buy a sixer of Meisterbrau and a carton of Lucky Strikes at the Piggly Wiggly.
Meanwhile Don Osterbrock spat a gob of chewin' tobaccy at our feet and walked away with a malevolent look on his face outside of Tropical Lei Strip Club in Bugsack Arkansas when asked if he was an old "fuddy duddy" because he was wearing a NASCAR wife-beater undershirt...
The full story can be found here on MSNBC