Roger Clemens mowed down every Little League player he faced today pitching 3 and 1/3rd scoreless innings for Bud's Gas 'n Go Skeeters in Wackamole, Oklahoma. The Rocket, better known as spokesman for Winstrol® steroids, admitted he was nervous facing the best 9 to 11-year olds in the county.
"After I brushed the first one off the plate I settled down and quite frankly I don't care if he cried he's a big baby" said the former MLB star who last pitched in 2007. "I own that plate whether you're 9 or 90" huffed Clemens.
"Sure I was disappointed the game only lasted 7-innings. If most of us didn't have to be home in time for dinner I'm sure we could have squeezed in one more inning."
Clemens admitted he felt "kinda foolish" knocking over opposing infielders and the catcher after hitting an inside the park home run. "It looked like they were going to tag me out. When you waddle at full speed it's kind of hard to turn on a dime, let alone steer a beer gut..."