(Fowl Line Exclusive) When Sandra Fluke heard she was Sports Illustrated's 2012 Sportsman of the Year you could have knocked her over with her diaphragm. "I really thought LeBron James had it in the bag, but it turns out they were just punking him for dumping Cleveland like a fat chick at the prom."
From her sporty cardigan worn on Capitol Hill to taking the podium at the Democratic Convention like Dwayne Wade before he had all those operations, Sandra Fluke epitomizes the flexibility of a great athlete coupled with the relentless championship drive that makes her spend 30-times more than any other woman on the planet for birth control. She makes no excuses, "My eggs respect all and fear none" said Fluke as she put another congressional lobbyist in a headlock and dragged him back to her hotel room.
Afterwards, relaxing in a t-shirt that read, "It’s not whether you get knocked up, it’s whether you get down" and answering call after call, Fluke took a moment to thank God and her parents for this latest triumph and reflect. "It was 4th and goal and I'm down by two runs in the bottom of the ninth but I never lost hope and even though LeBron and Kobe were nipping at my heels; I remembered what momma always said, "If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch!"
The award to Fluke reads in part, “...to the transcendent athlete, coach, team or whoever the hell we decide after a night of bourbon-soaked debauchery, a gal who by virtue of her utter lack of virtue and comportment took us all to a higher place..." left Fluke suitably humbled. "I wonder if they know how hot I get when somebody pays attention to me" whispered Fluke.
Coach K had this to say, "She's one of the unique figures of all time, really, and she's right in that area where it all comes together." Krzyzewski made a circle with his index finger and thumb and poked his other index finger in and out of it as he walked away.